Letter to my daughter

To My Sweet Little Baby Girl,

I remember the day you were born like it was yesterday.  Your daddy went to work that day and while he was at work, I was doing some last minute nesting and last minute packing up the hospital bags.  I remember after he came home from work, he changed into his normal clothes and we left.  

We were supposed to check into the hospital at 5:00pm that evening, but your daddy came home at 3:00pm that day.  We went to McDonalds to eat dinner, it was the last meal we ate together before you were born.  I had a salad, chicken nuggets, and fries and washed it down with a coke.  We talked during dinner and the sole part of our conversation was about you, our hopes and dreams for you.  

We left to go to the hospital after we ate.  We were scheduled to get induced that evening, hoping you would make your debut that evening or in the middle of the night.  I got hooked up to the machines to monitor my heartbeat, and when they put the belly band around me to monitor your heartbeat, my heart skipped a beat.  I couldn't wait to hear your heart beating.  

The first time I heard your heartbeat I was only ten weeks pregnant with you and it was the most beautiful sound I ever heard.  Every time I heard your heart beating away in my belly, I cried a few tears of happiness and thanked God for you.

You were quite stubborn and didn't want to come out.  After 25 hours of labor, the nurses woke me up at 5:00am to let me know we are going to have an emergency C-section because every time I had a contraction, you were in distress.  At 6:00am they wheeled me over to the operating room to bring you into the world.

The first time I heard you cry was the next best thing I have ever heard in my life.  I cried hysterically and thanked God over and over and over again for you.  I looked at your daddy and whispered, "We did it!".  Your daddy smiled at me with tears in his eyes and whispered back, "We're a family now!"

Here we are now, you are three years old.  You are still the best thing in the world and we are still and forever thankful for you.  We love you to no end.

I know the toddler years are tough because you're not able to communicate on how you are feeling and you're letting out your emotions.  I get it.  But I miss the little girl who used to love on me all the time.  I miss the little girl who did such sweet little things.  The girl you are now, you make me so sad when I see you hurt yourself because I don't understand what you want or when you don't get what you want.  It breaks my heart every single time I hear you cry in frustration or when you run away from me when I am trying to help you.

I hope and pray that things will get easier when you get older.  I love you to no end.  I will always love you.  But I miss the sweet little girl that is in you somewhere.

Love you always,
Mommy